Wisdom About Women
Wisdom often comes from recalling. Sometimes it takes wisdom to convert moments of sorrow into moments of strength.
Proverbs Chapter 5
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He still missed his father. Despite his attempts to hide his tears from those around him, he had been unsuccessful. He left indoors and went outside and sat on a shaded bench in his backyard. There were many things that his father had told him that, at the time, he didn’t understand. As he grew and broadened his potential to be tempted, he began to realise what his father had been warning him about.
“My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.”
It would be sometime yet before he would discover the depth of his father’s shameful past. He was suspecting that his father had been unfaithful to his mother. His suspicions were nearly right. As he reflected back on what his contrite father taught him-
“Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol; she does not ponder the path of life; her ways wander, and she does not know it.”
His own boys would soon be facing the temptations that every man must learn to overcome. Helping them to avoid social land-mines could not come too early. He arose from his reflections and summoned his own sons.
“And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless, lest strangers take their fill of your strength, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner, and at the end of your life you groan, when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.””
As his father had sensed that his boy was now a man, he spoke frankly to him about sex. Sex is not a play thing, son. Sex is a deeply spiritual transaction, son. Sex is the glue that unites a man and woman, son. You are not designed to be sexually glued and unglued to women repeatedly, son. Give your love, and especially your sexual love, to one woman and one woman alone. Commit to her with your whole life.
“Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.”
“Rejoice in the wife of your youth” he told his boys. But he did more than tell them. That night around the dinner table he made it very obvious to his boys that his heart belonged to no other woman than his wife. His sons saw how he touched her with care and respect. They heard how spoke to her with consideration and was sincere when he enquired about her day, her health, her meetings, and her thoughts. His own father had been unable to model the intimacy he taught his son was necessary to build a strong marriage. But teaching truth does not demand that the teacher is the source of that truth. A parent’s mistakes can actually serve to qualify them to be able to warn their children of making the same mistakes. He remembered how his failed father had told him-
“Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?”
Sex is for a married couple. Not just a couple. Not even an engaged couple. A married couple. It is God’s ongoing wedding gift, and like any wrapped present it should not be opened before the occasion. Because it is the highest expression of physical intimacy it demands the highest form of intimate commitment before it can be transacted: marriage. Get it right and sexual satisfaction is able to reach its potential. Get it wrong, you not only injure yourself but you mock the God who gave it as a wedding gift to a married couple.
“For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.”
His father told him that only fools ignore the sanctity of sexual intimacy within marriage. You can warn them. You can teach them. You can even have them agree with you. But fools will continue to ignore God’s wisdom administered through instruction and discipline regarding these sacred things.
The Book of Proverbs cuts right to the heart of where most people would rather have God leave them alone. But Christ wants to be Lord of your life in the Dining Room, the Lounge Room and the Bedroom.